


afraid of losing you

by fravanel



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst, F/F, SuperCorp
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-06
Updated: 2020-06-06
Packaged: 2021-03-03 22:02:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,837
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24562813
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fravanel/pseuds/fravanel
Summary: En gros, it's a post S5 one shot. I just... Just prepare your tissues.
Relationships: Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor
Comments: 16
Kudos: 81





	afraid of losing you

Arms crossed under her head, Kara lied down on the bed, staring at the ceiling, still and motionless in the darkness. Only her chest heaved up and down. The silence in her studio apartment was defeaning but her mind, oh, her mind was tumultuous. Tumultuous with anguish, grief and poignancy. Her tongue could still feel the saltiness from earlier tears, that now stained her cheeks.

_“Well, there’s still one bad guy left to catch,” Kara glanced at the woman standing in front of her who was crossing her arms, maybe trying to put up a strong image._

_Thrilled at what the superhero just proposed, Lena let her guard down and extended her right hand with a smile, “Let’s take my brother down.”_

_Without a single ounce of hesitation, Kara reciprocated, gave it a tight grip in complete faith and confidence as she looked into her emerald green eyes, knowing that Lena looked back into her ocean blue eyes too. And for once, the world stopped moving and the girl of steel felt overwhelmed with a myriad of feelings because this was what she wanted since the last time she challenged Lena to make the choice between her and Lex. To have Lena by her side because having her aside made her felt complete, whole in a way that she could not fathom even with her Kryptonian intellect. She felt right, belonged._

_Not giving it any further thought, Kara pulled Lena swiftly into a hug. Her eyes closed as she wrapped her arms tightly around the shorter woman and whispered, “Thank you.”_

_Speechless, her expression softened from surprise and she could only nod in response, closing her eyes too and tightening the hug. The younger woman missed this, the hug that gave her a sense of worth and security, that offered her gentle love and affection, that Kara always gave her before the Lex debacle happened. Tears were threatening to spill and Lena was trying her all to hold back._

_“Come to my place, tonight?”_

_Lena answered with another soft nod, breathing in._

Kara took in a very deep breath, closing her eyes then let out a heavy long sigh. She turned her head and looked at the door curtain separating her bedroom from the living room. A wave of imminent pain hit her chest.

_“Hi,” Kara’s lips curled into a genuine smile as she opened the door to her apartment, revealing Lena in red Bottega Veneta leather trench coat, dark blue jeans and black bottines. Elegant as always in her own way. Her black hair tucked behind her ear on the right side._

_Lena smiled, glanced at the floor for a moment trying to hide away her nervousness and looked back up at the tall blonde before clearing her throat and gesturing at paper bags she was holding, “I brought potstickers.”_

_“Lena!” Kara gasped, genuine surprise in her blue eyes, “I already ordered pizzas… but thank you.”_

_“Well, you have your Kryptonian metabolism to help you on that,” the short brunette remarked with her right eyebrow raised and a playful smirk plastered on her face. Her signature expression._

_Kara responded with a chuckle, flustered, her eyes squinted, maybe embarrassed to be called out about her insane metabolism. Yet deep down she was relieved because there were no more secrets between them. She did not have to pretend in front of her best friend. She did not have to lie to her anymore. She could be Kara for the night and of course, for the rest of their lives. Just Kara. “Anyway, please do come in.”_

_Lena gave her trench coat to Kara and walked straight to the kitchen to put the take-away food on the table. Kara frowned at the sight of Lena’s white button up tucked neatly into her jeans, “Do you want to change into more comfortable clothes, maybe?”_

_At Kara’s question, Lena’s head snapped and she looked down at her attire, “Umm yeah I’d like to?”_

_Kara chuckled and was about to say something but interrupted by a knock on the door. Using her super vision, she threw a look before looking back at Lena, “Okay, so that’s the pizza guy. You can go into my room, find something to wear.”_

_Lena blinked her eyes, straightening her not-wrinkled-at-all outwear, “Umm okay.”_

_“Hey,” Kara placed her hand on Lena’s arm, squeezing it softly and gave her a reassuring look, “I know you’re not gonna put something bad in my room so just go there and change into something more comfortable before I fly you in there.”_

_Her hesitant face broke into a smile, “Okay.”_

_Kara went to get the pizza at the door, a small chat, tipping off the guy and returned to Lena sitting on the stool in her red NCU hoodie and a pair of grey sweatpants. A big grin plastered on her face because she liked it. “You look great.”_

_“In your NCU hoodie and sweatpants?” she scoffed. There was her Lena._

_“Because it’s my NCU hoodie… and I like you better like this. Comfortable.”_

_Lena tucked her already-tucked hair behind as she glanced away, tint pink appeared on her cheeks, “Well, let’s eat.”_

_Kara smiled, sitting down and shoved a potsticker into her mouth._

_“So, what are we actually gonna do tonight?” Lena took a slice of the pepperoni pizza._

_The blonde shrugged, “I thought maybe we could watch some movies tonight, like we always did, you know. Or whatever you wanna do. I don’t mind. It’s just that,” she looked down at the potsticker, “I miss you.”_

_Lena stopped chewing and swallowed the pizza bite as she registered the words in her mind. She looked at Kara, unsure of what to say. On the other hand, the silence from Lena’s part had Kara agitated. “You know, I’m just—”_

_“Kara,” Lena reached out to Kara’s hand across the table and held it, staring at her, “I miss you too. It’s just that I can’t chill around while Lex is out there, doing something evil God knows what. I’m at fault at some point in this whole situation and I can’t sit down knowing that.”_

_A soft smiled curved up at Kara’s face and she turned her hand so she could hold Lena’s hand back. “I know and you’re right. But we still deserve this after a long day against Leviathan. We only won the battle today so we need some rest to end the war once and for all. Lena, you’ve proved yourself countless of times that you’re not evil and it’s just this time around, you were just in a difficult position.”_

_“We both were,” Lena whispered._

_Kara nodded, “And we’ll do it together this time. El mayarah.”_

_“Stronger together.”_

_Suddenly, the old radio on the bookshelf tweaked and a 70s song came up and filled the atmosphere. Kara, once again, frowned and looked at it. “That radio’s still working? Huh, weird.”_

_“Why wouldn’t it be working though?”_

_Kara turned her attention to Lena, “It’s Jeremiah’s but it’s broken long way before he went away. I just don’t want to forget him, you know and—oh wait. I know this song. It’s Jeremiah’s favourite song. He used to dance to it with Eliza after dinner.”_

_Lena raised her eyebrows, “That’s nice.”_

_“And romantic,” Kara commented with a chuckle._

_Quickly, the blonde stood up and held out her hand towards Lena, an invitation to dance. Her green eyes widened, Lena shook her head and made up an excuse, “Kara, I can’t dance.”_

_“Oh come on. I’m sure Lillian at least made sure you know how to mingle in a ball including dancing. Come on,” Kara gestured gently and gave her a whimsical smile._

_Lena rolled her eyes playfully at her comical remark and took her hand nevertheless. Kara pulled her to the living room, nearer to the old radio which was still playing the same soothing song. Kara put her hands on the side of Lena’s small waist while the brunette hung her arms over the superhero’s neck, locking her hands behind. They swayed slowly as the singer sang his lines and Kara stared down at Lena, never breaking the streak which lead to Lena blushing._

_“Stop staring at me,” she looked down._

_Kara chuckled, “I’m staring at you now because I never realized how beautiful you look up close before, especially your eyes. It’s like staring into a deep forest with precious treasures locked away somewhere in a secret cave. I’m pretty sure the treasure is filled with emeralds because your eyes are so green.”_

_Unlocking her hands and gripping the back of Kara’s neck, Lena huffed, “Well, that’s descriptive.”_

_“I’m a journalist for a reason, Lena.”_

_The pair continued to dance without saying anything, just enjoying each other’s’ company until Kara broke the silence. “Jeremiah liked to dance to this song with Eliza because he wanted to remind them every day that he felt wonderful with her.”_

_I feel wonderful because I see_

_The love light in your eyes_

_And the wonder of it all_

_Is that you just don’t realize how much I love you_

_Kara sang the bridge slowly along with the singer while Lena leaned her head on the blonde’s chest, right under her head, both of them were still slow dancing. Lena sniffed; her eyes closed; her hands fisted on Kara’s chest._

_“Lena, I can’t say exactly how much wonderful I feel with you tonight. All I know is that I’m very happy to have you back and I can’t bear the thought of losing you again. Know that I will do everything in my power to protect you. I trust you. I cherish you. I care about you. You’re precious to me.”_

_Finally, tears rolled down her cheeks, “Kara… I’m very sorry. I’m sorry that I hurt you. I’m sorry that I got us into this situation.”_

_“Hey, hey,” Kara gently held Lena’s chin and wiped some of her tears, “look at me. I forgive you. Whatever happened, it’s in the past. What matters now is that you’re here, okay?”_

_Lena nodded and Kara held her tightly as she put her head above Lena’s. Her heart ached at the sight of Lena’s vulnerability. She seemed so fragile and could break at any point. The superhero would really like to throw a hard punch at Lex that night._

Kara finally choked of tears as she began to sob uncontrollably. The pain in her chest gradually alleviated as she cried and cried, breaking the silence.

_Kara swooshed into the building, breaking the window in the process and landed in front of Lex who had his back facing towards the superhero. Kara clenched her fists, “It’s over, Lex.”_

_Lex turned around with a cocky smile spread on his face, inviting fury to storm in Kara as he observed her in her Supergirl suit. She loathed seeing that expression of his, reminded that he had reached this far to beat her. “I’m not sure we have even begun,” Lex smirked, cocking his head to one side and the Lexosuit commenced to materialize around him. He quickly shot green energy blasts at the superhero._

_Of course, Kara dodged it successfully, swirling into the air and landed back on the floor, “Is that all you’ve got?”_

_“I’m glad you asked,” Lex threw glowing kryptonite knives that seemed to be tied to his Lexosuit. Kara winced in torment and fell on her knees as pain throbbed throughout her body. She really had to forget to bring along her krypto suit._

_“Kara!”_

_The superhero snapped her head at the direction and saw Lena stepping out from a transmatter portal, weaponless, “Lena, what are you doing here? G-get out!” she grimaced, trying to hold back the pain, green glows glared from the knife wounds._

_“Aha coming here to save your lover, Lena? And to think that you show up to my face… how dare you,” Lex gritted his teeth and pulled back the kryptonite knives into his suit, stomping towards his sister._

_Lena’s eyes widened and turned at the superhero, “Kara, the krypto suit!”_

_A small flying machine appeared from the transmatter portal and hovered towards Kara who leaned against the wall, settling down on the ‘S’ crest and materializing afterwards. Meanwhile, as the Lexosuit dematerialize, Lex grabbed Lena’s neck, in anger, pushing her up to the wall. “Father shouldn’t have taken you in. He should have left you abandoned with your pathetic dead mother because that’s just how pathetic you are!”_

_Lena gasped for air as she struggled to get off his brother’s hand, looking at him, pleading. He scoffed as his face inched closer towards Lena’s and whispered, “Look at you. Even after years of lying to you, you still run to your kryptonian pet. Pitiful. A disgrace.”_

_Lex let her go and stepped back, throwing her a scorned look whilst Lena slid down to the floor, her hand on her neck, trying to catch some breath. She slowly looked up, “She’s my friend. She’s Kara. She lied to me to protect me, not manipulating me like how you and your mother did!”_

_“Stop talking,” Lex pulled out a revolver from his back pocket and pointed it at the brunette on the floor. Lena used a revolver too to kill him before and she realized what was happening._

_The man pulled the trigger as he hung his head high, “It’s payback time, sis.”_

_After almost lulled to being treated by the krypto suit’s solar energy exposure, Kara was startled by a gunshot. She turned to her right and saw Lex with a gun in his hand and Lena clutching to her chest, agony burned through her body._

_“Lena!” Kara raced hastily towards her best friend to take her to safety. Suddenly, she was shoved back, away from Lena and she looked up._

_Lex, back in his lexosuit, just blasted kryptonite energy blasts at her, “Not so fast.”_

_Raging, Kara rushed towards him and threw a super punch causing Lex to fly across the room. She turned on her earpiece, “Alex, are you there? I need to get you in here and take Lena’s to safety. She’s injured, Alex.”_

_“Kara, I’m stuck and I can’t get in. Leviathan’s still beating our ass out here,” sounds of explosion muffled Alex’s voice a little._

_The superhero bit her lips and glanced at Lena, “Okay. It’s okay, I can do it. Just keep fighting. I’ll check in with you again after this.”_

_Kara turned it off and was about to take Lena away when another blast hit her. Lex was already on his feet and holding a Kryptonite sword. Kara sped towards him, pushing him out of the building and up into the dark sky and knocked off the sword from his hand._

_“You—" Kara punched him in the face._

_She avoided then Lex’s retaliated punch and threw another punch, “dare—”_

_Lex managed to hit her abdomen but Kara managed to stall his other hit with her arm and hit him back, “to hurt her—”_

_She threw another strong punch up his jaw and he spun backwards, “and I’ll make you pay,” using her super strength, Kara clapped her hands together, creating a powerful shock-wave that threw Lex further back._

_Kara lunged at him without giving any chance for retaliation, tore a part of his lexosuit helmet, revealing Lex’s face, anguish clearly written on it. “Look at me!” she grabbed by his neck and shook him._

_“You’ll die for real this time,” the superhero whispered as contempt filled her mind and heat vision beamed out of her eyes straight at Lex’s face. She let go, watching him falling down, subjected to the pull of gravity. As a faint thud made its way to her ear, she flew back to Lex’s hideout building._

_Lena was breathing barely and her face was paling, her eyes closed, her red button up soaked from blood. Kara kneeled down and cupped Lena’s face softly, trying to keep her from being unconscious, “Hey…”_

_Lena’s eyes opened slowly as she called with a weak voice, “Kara?”_

_“Listen, I’m going to take you back to the Tower okay? You’ll be fine,” the superhero started to scoop her in when Lena faintly shook her head._

_“Lena?” Kara stopped and stared down at her._

_“We’re not going to make it in time. Just… just stay with me.”_

_“No,” Kara shook her head abruptly, “no. You’ll make it in time. Don’t do this.”_

_“Kara,” Lena gripped her arm as she leaned onto the superhero’s chest. Kara wrapped her arms around her as she felt hot wet tears filled up her eyes and they eventually raced down her cheeks._

_“I can’t lose you again, Lena, just right after I got you back. I can’t lose you,” an involuntary whimper escaped her lips._

_Lena moved away a bit, looked up and stared at her. It took all her might to move her hand and wiped the tears streaming down her best friend’s face, giving her a small somber smile, “Please… don’t cry. We’ve cried enough over us.”_

_At what seemed to be a third of a second after, Lena’s hand dropped and she stopped moving. Her eyes were open but there was no movement. Her body was limp in the superhero’s cradle._

_“No no no no no. Lena! Don’t leave me yet. Please, Lena. I want you to know that I love you so please come back. I wanted to tell you that night but I was so scared that I might lose you again. I-I love you, Lena,” Kara choked on her sobs and shook Lena’s body gently. She cupped her face and her thumb grazed her cheek. Her vision was blurry; it was difficult for her to see clearly. This was what she feared about – losing someone she cared about. She just promised to protect her and she failed at it. Kara tightened her arms around Lena and she knew that she was already gone. She squeezed her eyes hard at the thought and shook her head gently._

_“ARGHHH!” Kara shot heat vision at the wall as a great tremor overtook her body. The sound of wailing and suffering echoed throughout the room._

_“Kara?” Alex’s voice heard from the door._

_“She’s gone, Alex. Lena’s gone,” another tear escaped her eye. Alex hurried over and hugged her sister from behind._

Kara sniffled quietly; she was drained emotionally. She took another deep breath, closing her eyes.

_“After her encounter with Lex Luthor, Supergirl is seemed nowhere to be seen. It has been two days since…”_

_Kara stared at the female TV anchor speaking about the recent incident. Her eyes were red and swollen, used tissues are piling up beside her. She glanced down at her hand, the very same picture of her and Lena she used to look at when they had a conflict before. She let out a heavy sigh and she thought that they looked so happy in the picture. Her phone rang and Kara quickly answered the call after a brief glimpse._

_“Kara?” Alex’s voice echoed from the other end of the line._

_The mourning blonde hummed in response and Alex spoke up again, “The burial is tomorrow morning.”_

_Kara closed her eyes, her heart stung, “Okay.”_

_The next morning, it was rather windy and the sky was gloomy with its dark clouds. Kara was standing next to Lena’s coffin, she glanced shortly at it, before taking a deep breath and looked at the small crowd in front of her._

_“Lena was a remarkable woman who always held her head high and gave endlessly to those around her. She defied her last name at every turn, proving that we’re not defined by it. It was only by chance that first I shadowed my cousin, Clark and met Lena in person. The moment I set my eyes on her, I knew my life would never be the same.”_

_Clark grabbed Louis’ hand, giving it a tight grip._

_“To the outside world, Lena may have been the heartless cunning businesswoman but to me, she’s brilliant, kind-hearted and beautiful soul. For countless of times, she had put others including me before herself in which I will always be in debt.”_

_Sam squeezed Ruby’s hand, trying to hold back her tears._

_“This world might lose its genius saviour because let’s admit it, Lena has revolutionized many things with her bright ideas. Every time she designed a device that only meant good to the people, she excitedly shared it with me and every time, she never failed to put me in genuine awe.”_

_Alex sighed and looked down at the ground, crossing her arms._

_“But I… I lost someone dear to me. Lena once said to me that I’m her hero but unbeknownst to us both, she was mine too. To be honest, I am not prepared. I’m not ready yet. I don’t want to let go but I have to. Because if I don’t, I’ll never know if I can move on. And I’d like to acknowledge the feelings she made me feel because they have made me stronger.”_

_Brainy stood mightily as his hands locked behind as usual and Nia wiped an escaped tear._

_“Lena had always been a family to me and families fight but they’re never apart. However, our serious disagreements last time had me uncomfortable because it felt wrong. What if we never make peace with each other? In the end, we did and despite whatever happens, she is forever in my heart. She took a piece of me that I didn’t regret.”_

_A soft little smile spread across Eliza’s face._

_“The only regret I have is that I never seize the chance when I had to let Lena hear and know what I truly feel. Because I love her, with every fibre in my body. I love her as the moon loves the stars, as the sky loves the sun, and as the earth loves her rain. I wanted to let her know that she had someone who rightly loves her the way she was in spite of her upbringing and I still do… and she deserves it.”_

_Barry gave a dear look at Iris by his side and gave her a small loving smile as she looked back at him._

_“You have been the sun of our lives. Our prayers will be the sun that lights your way on your journey home. We will remember you in every dawn and await the night we join you in the sky. Rao’s will be done,” Kara ended with the Kryptonian prayer for the dead._

Kara finally sat up; her head throbbed in imminent ache. She felt the bedroom closing in to her and thus, she flew out of her apartment. She stopped and hovered above the quiet city. The night wind blew her hair to her face, she closed her eyes and focused her super hearing to find a familiar heartbeat – Lena’s. She could not find it and she knew but she was desperate. For the nth time that night, tears streamed down her face.

**Author's Note:**

> So, that was heavy. To be honest, before I wrote this, I was somehow craving for a supercorp angst. So I listened to 5sos' Ghost of You and it inspired me and supposed to be the title of this work. But as I gradually wrote it, the direction changed a bit so yeah that's that. Anyway, let me know how are you feeling or what do you think! I haven't written oneshots in ages.


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